The worth of that sculpted plaque lay not in its outward form, but in the heart of its creator.

Though I can’t ask Dad for money or call him collect, I can pay tribute to him with a poem loosely adapted from that glorious ode to the perfect wife and mother that I first read when I was 13. This is my take on the Proverbs 31 Guy.

I’ve been married more than 30 years in a row partly because I have learned the hard way that there are 777 things you should never say to your wife.