Conflict per se isn't necessarily bad. But when conflict is rooted in sin and self-centredness, or resolved in sinful ways then it will be unhealthy and destructive.
Marital conflict is a fact of life because of different motives, methods, perspectives, personalities, and desires. Conflict per se isn't necessarily bad. But when conflict is rooted in sin and self-centredness, or resolved in sinful ways then it will be unhealthy and destructive.
It is important to show grace, which means thinking, “I could do something like that, or equally bad.” It also means forgiving our mate, but forgiving doesn't mean we're saying the sin didn't happen or that he or she shouldn't suffer the consequences of sin. But it means releasing our anger and our need to take revenge. Set up a plan for accountability and strength for your spouse to turn from the sin so the two of you can be reconciled.
Many marriages shipwreck when crisis strikes, but devastation can be avoided. Here are a few insights I've learned through personal experience and by watching other couples.
All the change marriage brought caught me off guard. Everything I had worked so hard to establish in my own life was now open to debate. All the traditions passed down through my family were about to be fused with another.
For the most part I can tell someone who has done me wrong “I forgive you,” and really mean it. Where I have trouble is when that person has wronged someone I love.