“I don't know what to do with my life!”

How many times have you said or heard this?

These words were cried in frustration most memorably when I was moving home, after several years away. While in the midst of adventuring, discovering, and exploring, I rarely thought about what was next. But once it was over I found I was unprepared to deal with the choices in front of me.

Questions gnawed at my mind, making me wonder if I had missed God's plan for my life. Did I get it wrong? Where was I supposed to be? What was I meant to do? Why didn't anything make sense anymore?

In reality I wasn't failing at life, I was at a crossroads. Along the bumpy path of life's road we all inevitably encounter forks, and deciding which direction to turn is a part of life. But how do you decide which way to go? Without knowing the big picture or where the road will take you, how do you know which direction is right?

Sometimes the choices and options keep us up at night. And rightly so! Major life decisions like where to go to school, whether to marry, or what career path to follow should be taken seriously. However, losing sleep and anxious thoughts will only make things worse.

As Christians, we believe this world is temporary and Christ's return is imminent. Our life choices, then, become that much more important—we want to live lives of meaning, yet know there's so much more to come. It can be difficult to balance the here and now with what's to come but the good news is God has already given us the tools we need to make wise decisions.

Here are some ways I've learned to focus on what really matters when decisions threaten to keep me up at night:

1. Relax. Sometimes we get so focused on “the plan” and fearful of missing out on God's best that we miss the point. Instead of stressing over the plan, focus on developing your relationship with Him. Trust that God will let you know what to do in His time. “Though the Lord gave you adversity for food and suffering for drink, he will still be with you to teach you. You will see your teacher with your own eyes. Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, ‘This is the way you should go,’ whether to the right or to the left,” (Isaiah 30:20-21).
2. Remember. When a big decision is looming it's easy to become overwhelmed to the point of paralysis. To break this cycle, remember God's faithfulness to you in your life, and of His unchanging trustworthiness throughout history. He will remain faithful even if it's difficult to see His hand in your current situation. “He guards the paths of the just and protects those who are faithful to him. Then you will understand what is right, just, and fair, and you will find the right way to go,” (Proverbs 2:8-9).
3. Rest. When we're struggling, this is no easy task. Give God your burden and believe He will give you what you need. Find His promises in the Bible and choose to hope in them. “Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take,” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

My story at this particular crossroad has an interesting conclusion. At one point I wrote down my interests, dreams, and hopes. After listing everything I could think of, I put them in order of importance. Then I glued them to a poster board and started drawing circles and lines to connect related topics. After a while all I could see was a giant, sticky mess and I cried in desperation, “Lord you are the only one who can make sense of this! I need you to take over!”

Three years later I look back and can clearly see the Lord's hand on my life, although at the time it just seemed like chaos. Step by step He has proven to be faithful and has shown me, in His perfect timing, how my seemingly random hopes and dreams connect in a way that makes me uniquely capable of serving Him in this time and place, with the ever-present hope of what's to come.