This article is designed to create a better understanding of effective fathering. For the next 30 days read the questions and allow them to spark deeper personal reflection and life change.

Scripture reveals God as an effective Father. It also shows us many examples of ineffective fathers. One of the results of ungodly, ineffective fathering is the negative impact on descendants. But by God’s grace the opposite is true: godly, effective fathers can have an impact lasting generations and ineffective fathers can become great fathers.

1. Read 1 John 3:1,18. God, the perfect Father, delights to lavish love on His children (see James 1:17). What acts of love can you lavish on your children?
2. Read Luke 15:20–23. What characteristics of an effective father does the Prodigal Son’s father display? How does this reflect the heart of your heavenly Father?
3. Read 1 John 1:9. God the Father is forgiving. What impact will it have on your children if you fail to forgive them when they have done wrong?
4. Read Psalm 68:4–5. God is a protective Father. What steps can you take to provide protection for your children in this day and age?
5. Read Isaiah 9:6. God is called everlasting Father. He is always available. What steps can you take to be more available to your children?
6. Read Genesis 34. Jacob did nothing when his daughter was raped. He also did nothing when his sons killed the rapist. What could Jacob have done instead?
7. Read Genesis 34:30–31. Rather than concern for his daughter or his sons’ behaviour, what was Jacob’s concern? How did his passivity affect his family?
8. Read 1 Samuel 2:12–35. When Eli’s sons were blasphemous and immoral, and since Eli feared them more than God, what did he do? What was the outcome?
9. Read 1 Samuel 2:29; 4:18. Eli also participated in the sin of his sons. How did that contribute to Eli’s passivity and ultimately his and his sons’ deaths?
10. Read 2 Samuel 13:1–22. David’s eldest son Amnon raped his half-sister Tamar. What did David do? What role did Absalom take on and why was it significant?
11. Read 2 Samuel 13:23–25. David refused Absalom’s invitation to celebrate with him and his other sons. How do you think Absalom took David’s refusal to be involved with him?
12. Read 2 Samuel 13:26–39. Absalom killed Amnon and escaped to his grandfather’s, staying with him for three years. Again, David was passive. What should David have done?
13. Read 2 Samuel 14. Joab brought Absalom home but two years passed before David saw him. How did David’s passivity worsen Absalom’s resentment?
14. Read 2 Samuel 15:1–12, 16:21–22. Absalom’s resentment toward his passive father became rebellion and insult. How did David’s passivity toward injustice contribute to Absalom’s attitude?
15. Read 2 Samuel 18:1–18. Absalom was eventually killed while leading a rebellion, causing David to mourn. What lessons can you glean about the impact of passivity on a family?
16. Read Colossians 3:21; Ephesians 6:4. In these passages, fathers are warned not to provoke or exasperate their children. How does this happen? What should happen instead?
17. Read Deuteronomy 6:4–9. To fulfil these commands, how involved ought fathers be? What are some practical ways fathers can fulfil these commands in our day?
18. Read Job 1:4–5. In what ways do you see Job involved with his children? From Job’s example what is one way of keeping your family engaged?
19. Read James 1:19. How does this command apply to fathers with their children? When fathers don’t listen to their children, what message does it send?
20. Read Genesis 25:28; 37:1–35. Isaac favoured Esau while Rebekah favoured Jacob. Jacob then favoured Joseph. How does favouritism affect family unity?
21. Read Genesis 37:3–8. How does favouritism affect the children who are not favoured? In Jacob’s family, what did favouritism lead to? How does this type of thing happen today?
22. Read James 2:9. How does James view favouritism? How can you prefer one child to another yet still be fair and not show favouritism?
23. Read Genesis 12:13; 26:7; 27:35. What is the connection between the deception practiced by Abraham and that of his descendants?
24. Read Genesis 27:41. What are some possible outcomes in a family when a father practices deception?
25. Read Genesis 29:14–35. Laban deceived Jacob and used his daughters as pawns for his own ends. What kind of family dynamic occurred because of his deception?
26. Read Proverbs 20:7. How does a father’s integrity result in blessing to his children? What steps can you take to strengthen your integrity?
27. Read Proverbs 22:6. What kind of direction does an effective father give his children? What might keep a father from giving good direction to his children?
28. Read Proverbs 19:18; Hebrews 12:7. Effective fathers strive to turn their children from evil through instruction and correction. How can you strengthen your instruction and correction?
29. Read Ephesians 4:1–3. How will obeying this verse help you be an effective father? What characteristics do you believe you need to develop?
30. Read 1 John 1:9. If you feel you have been an ineffective father what steps can you take today to become more effective?